Misunderstanding
There once lived two small children. They grew up in a beautiful home, were driven around in fancy cars had everything one could imagine. Their parents were over achievers who pushed their children into which ever direction they could. They were supportive, caring strict parents with a loving attitude. Any child would love to be in this situation.
As the children grow up, they begin to become two very different adolescents. Their personalities are complete opposites. The parents begin to treat their children slightly differently. One child is more of an over achiever excelling in almost every subject. The other is very artistic. The point being, both are very talented young women, just in very different ways.
Say for instance that the parents identify greater with the academic over achiever. They begin to talk about the other child a little more, maybe because she has participated in more events that demonstrate her abilities. Eventually, the other young lady will begins to hear how her sister did this and that. Yet this child knows that her parents are just as proud of her, but she can't help but wonder because she is constantly reminded about "Susan did that with so and so," " Susan knows the president of this company because she met his son at a debate." You can begin to see how the other child must feel. The expectations are very high. When she is constantly reminded how and what her sister does from day to day, how can she ever feel supported about the way she is? She would begin to have feelings of resentment and doubt in herself that she may not be as good. Yet, she knows that she shouldn't feel this way. However, after constant reminders she can help but begin to feel this way.
At this point, the parents do not see how they are potentially harming their other child with their behavior. One might even take offense if told they do this to their child. In their eyes, they are trying their best. It isn't that do not love and support their other child just as much, if not more so because she isn't an over achiever like themselves, it is because they do not understand. Love and understanding are the best tools to battle this sort of situation.
As the children grow up, they begin to become two very different adolescents. Their personalities are complete opposites. The parents begin to treat their children slightly differently. One child is more of an over achiever excelling in almost every subject. The other is very artistic. The point being, both are very talented young women, just in very different ways.
Say for instance that the parents identify greater with the academic over achiever. They begin to talk about the other child a little more, maybe because she has participated in more events that demonstrate her abilities. Eventually, the other young lady will begins to hear how her sister did this and that. Yet this child knows that her parents are just as proud of her, but she can't help but wonder because she is constantly reminded about "Susan did that with so and so," " Susan knows the president of this company because she met his son at a debate." You can begin to see how the other child must feel. The expectations are very high. When she is constantly reminded how and what her sister does from day to day, how can she ever feel supported about the way she is? She would begin to have feelings of resentment and doubt in herself that she may not be as good. Yet, she knows that she shouldn't feel this way. However, after constant reminders she can help but begin to feel this way.
At this point, the parents do not see how they are potentially harming their other child with their behavior. One might even take offense if told they do this to their child. In their eyes, they are trying their best. It isn't that do not love and support their other child just as much, if not more so because she isn't an over achiever like themselves, it is because they do not understand. Love and understanding are the best tools to battle this sort of situation.
posted by Jenn & John at 1:55 PM
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