:(
This past week has been hell for me. Having to deal with everything with my family and try to hold my life together in Southern Cali has taken a toll on me. Last night sucked soooooooooo much. I don't understand how people can be so cold hearted. Bastards...the whole lot of them. My face is still puffy today from everything.
How can someone be so emotionless? If someone has been hurt so badly, is it possible to switch roles from the victim? I think we have all surpressed thoughts and feelings at sometime or another in our lives. I know I have from my past. Memories that I have surpressed for years have surfaced.
It hurts. It hurts everyone but the person who remains emotionless...because there is no pain and no joy for that matter if you don't show emotion...if you don't express emotion to anyone. You will never be disappointed. I suppose that is a good thing if you never want anything meaningful or great in your life. Life will go on and you will experience only the simple joys in life. If someone has no emotional attachment to you, how can they miss you or feel love for you? I guess its kinda like reading the obituaries in the newspaper. When you read it, typically it doesn't have any kind of impression on you. It's just another column in the paper.
I just don't understand how it gets to this point. It has to be drugs or alcohol. What do I do now? I was tempted to cut him out of my life completely. I almost told him to fuck off and to never glance in my direction again. Pretend I don't exist...pretend that everyone in your life does not exist. Then I told myself, it is his mental condition. Only someone with drug, alcohol or mental problems would not feel anything for their child.......
I then asked my brother what his thoughts were about me....does he have any attachment to me? He couldn't reply. His poor child. I cried for the baby and myself last night. I couldn't imagine not being loved by a parent.....I guess I can. What happened to my family?
There is this saying....May the Lord bless and keep you...and that is all we can ever really hope for.
How can someone be so emotionless? If someone has been hurt so badly, is it possible to switch roles from the victim? I think we have all surpressed thoughts and feelings at sometime or another in our lives. I know I have from my past. Memories that I have surpressed for years have surfaced.
It hurts. It hurts everyone but the person who remains emotionless...because there is no pain and no joy for that matter if you don't show emotion...if you don't express emotion to anyone. You will never be disappointed. I suppose that is a good thing if you never want anything meaningful or great in your life. Life will go on and you will experience only the simple joys in life. If someone has no emotional attachment to you, how can they miss you or feel love for you? I guess its kinda like reading the obituaries in the newspaper. When you read it, typically it doesn't have any kind of impression on you. It's just another column in the paper.
I just don't understand how it gets to this point. It has to be drugs or alcohol. What do I do now? I was tempted to cut him out of my life completely. I almost told him to fuck off and to never glance in my direction again. Pretend I don't exist...pretend that everyone in your life does not exist. Then I told myself, it is his mental condition. Only someone with drug, alcohol or mental problems would not feel anything for their child.......
I then asked my brother what his thoughts were about me....does he have any attachment to me? He couldn't reply. His poor child. I cried for the baby and myself last night. I couldn't imagine not being loved by a parent.....I guess I can. What happened to my family?
There is this saying....May the Lord bless and keep you...and that is all we can ever really hope for.
posted by Jenn & John at 12:03 AM
1 Comments:
It hurts when someone you love, basically tells you that they don't love you back...It really hurts because you thought that they loved you just as much. I don't understand people sometimes. It is like they get these pride on their shoulders that makes them emotionless or insensitive to your needs. Then they don't even think about how much they are hurting those that truly do care for them. It hurts a lot. Then you ask yourself, was I wasting my time, part of my life loving them? Then we think of those that are always there for us, through the good times and the bad, that love is so strong it can never break, no matter what. Know that you are loved by your friends, they will always be there for you!
luv,
Ilana
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