moving

I'm crossing my fingers (and toes for that matter). I have started my preparation for graduate school. It looks like San Francisco Conservatory is the place to be.

As a child and young adult, I longed to be involved in chamber music. I had wanted to do my bachelor's degree in it, but had a difficult time finding the major. HOWEVER, graduate school is different. SF offers a degree in chamber music....and I can be daring and audition for either vocal or viola artists certificate. I definately think it is possible to double up....why not if I'm gonna be in debt for the next 20 years?! Hopefully it is possible.

I know I know, I never thought I would move from LA....believe me I didn't! Nor cal? oh please....I'm definately gonna go crazy up here in cow town. It is only for a short time though...unless I really love SF...I think I will eventually wander back down to LA. Who knows where this road will lead me.

I guess the real reason is family. When someone needs your help and has no where to turn, how can you say no? I don't want to be up here now and I certainly don't want to move up here. Life can be sucky...and then you move on and learn from it.

Many would say, how could you put your life on hold for someone else? My response is simple. Love is strength. It pains me to see what is happening with my family. Everyone seems to be fucked up...whether it be mental or physical. Mental is easier to deal with because it isn't always visual. Physical just slaps you in the face. Seeing as my nephew's parents have mental problems and can't deal with reality and my mother is severally disabled, how can I not step in for a while to help? It almost seems wrong not to. Not to mention, everything in my life is pointing in that direction. Two nights ago I decided to move, and the following day I got a call that my mother was in the hospital....hmm intuition playing a role here? And is it part of my greater plan? I don't know. It just feels right.