a blind woman in a tea cup at disneyland

I still can't believe that a week ago I was in Vegas. Now I'm in Frisco. This is quite the life....traveling with friends. But it is still lonely. Maybe I wouldn't say lonely. That is a pretty strong word. I've just had a LOT on my mind and it's been great to get away.

I guess I'm just scared. Yeah...I just admitted that. When you want something so bad, why does it turn in the other direction? Is it a tease or is it not meant to be? I can act the part well I guess. I fool a lot of people....hmmm, maybe I should look into a new career! I can act like I don't give a damn in the world...play something off as if nothing happened. But who am I really fooling. I think I'm only fooling myself. I am afraid of getting hurt too...I think that is why I NEVER put myself out there. And when I do, I know I can walk away. I guess it is a power thing. I wrap myself in a security blanket. If only they knew........

I have that Beetles song in my head...I think it is called Imagine....