The final say
It's Thursday already! I am turning into an early bird now. Last night I had plans to put my nephew to bed at 8:30 and then I would have the night to myself. Good plan... Didn't happen. I ended up falling asleep before 9!!! Who does that? WTF? I haven't fallen asleep before nine in years!
It has been a busy few days. Aunt Angela has taken a real liking to the lil guy. We've gone swimming, saw fireworks (which he "oooohed" and "ahhhhhed" at and clapped for the ones he really liked!), went to the park to run around... you name it we've done it. Auntie is exuasted! But FINALLY, I will be able to go to the zoo. I've been waiting for this for years and now I have someone who will enjoy it as much as I will.
Work is going just as expected... SSDD. I'm looking forward to having my weekends off. I think I will finally quit my other job and maybe do some BBQing this weekend.
Oh man, what a week so far. I think I've come to realize that I do not want children of my own for at least a good 5-10 years, if that. I want way to many things at the moment. I like my freedom.... not being attached. I feel like a mom already and I'm just not ready for that. Kids are cute. I love children, but it is too much for me. If he was my own, there would be no question where my place would be. However, I want to further my education and get to where I had planned my life to be. And I'm not going to allow anyone to get in my way. I will be at SF Conservatory next fall.... do what ever it takes to get there. Before, my drive wasn't as big because I had freedom. I just decided to be lazy. Now, i've had that taken away from me. And I have to deal with everyone elses crap. AND NOW, I finally realize what freedom means... what it means to NOT have control over your life... dealing with others telling you who you are and what you are going to do... and it does only one thing... makes me run like the fucking wind. I would love to escape back into my music world... but for now, this short while... I will help out my family. Because they need me... they need mental and emotional support right now. So I will be there, for a short while. But my life is (what my little nephew would say)MINE. I'm setting boundaries. I am setting goals. And I won't compromise my life for anyone else... anymore.
and for once, I'm not tired! it must have been those 9 lovely hours of sleep.
It has been a busy few days. Aunt Angela has taken a real liking to the lil guy. We've gone swimming, saw fireworks (which he "oooohed" and "ahhhhhed" at and clapped for the ones he really liked!), went to the park to run around... you name it we've done it. Auntie is exuasted! But FINALLY, I will be able to go to the zoo. I've been waiting for this for years and now I have someone who will enjoy it as much as I will.
Work is going just as expected... SSDD. I'm looking forward to having my weekends off. I think I will finally quit my other job and maybe do some BBQing this weekend.
Oh man, what a week so far. I think I've come to realize that I do not want children of my own for at least a good 5-10 years, if that. I want way to many things at the moment. I like my freedom.... not being attached. I feel like a mom already and I'm just not ready for that. Kids are cute. I love children, but it is too much for me. If he was my own, there would be no question where my place would be. However, I want to further my education and get to where I had planned my life to be. And I'm not going to allow anyone to get in my way. I will be at SF Conservatory next fall.... do what ever it takes to get there. Before, my drive wasn't as big because I had freedom. I just decided to be lazy. Now, i've had that taken away from me. And I have to deal with everyone elses crap. AND NOW, I finally realize what freedom means... what it means to NOT have control over your life... dealing with others telling you who you are and what you are going to do... and it does only one thing... makes me run like the fucking wind. I would love to escape back into my music world... but for now, this short while... I will help out my family. Because they need me... they need mental and emotional support right now. So I will be there, for a short while. But my life is (what my little nephew would say)MINE. I'm setting boundaries. I am setting goals. And I won't compromise my life for anyone else... anymore.
and for once, I'm not tired! it must have been those 9 lovely hours of sleep.
posted by Jenn & John at 1:02 PM
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