marriage
I had an interesting conversation with a mid-thirty something man. The discussion was marriage. Now one might think that if a thirty something year old man isn't married yet, what is wrong with him? This is the conversation that most women have. Men that are young (early twenties) don't want to settle down. Rather, they would prefer to bone anything in sight. Ok, the prettier faces might have a choice of which girl they get, but most will just about settle for anything that comes their way. Pretty sick huh?
...so my question is this, if the younger men don't care to settle down and the older men are settled already, what is left?
Think about it for a second...
Do you trust a man who is older, who hasn't been married and who still likes to go out? Did he just take longer to grow up? Was he too involved in a career that he didn't want to settle down? Or does he just have those wild ways in which a conventional marriage would definitely not suit him. In any case, a woman will always question an older man who has never been married.
Marriage... I've noticed that many people are waiting until they are older to make that big commitment. I'm 24 years old, but I still feel like I did when I was 20. There is no way I could settle down and be married. Maybe this is all sparked from my two long term relationships. Either way, I want to be able to have a relationship with someone outside of marriage long before marriage is even thought about. Then once I'm married I want to be married a while before children are even thought of... SO why am I thinking about this now? I don't know... Maybe it is because I don't want to be mid-thirty and still single. Not saying that I want to be married. I just want to live it up... be single for a while... then settle. Although I wouldn't mind having a partner in crime while I'm causing all of this trouble. ;)
...so my question is this, if the younger men don't care to settle down and the older men are settled already, what is left?
Think about it for a second...
Do you trust a man who is older, who hasn't been married and who still likes to go out? Did he just take longer to grow up? Was he too involved in a career that he didn't want to settle down? Or does he just have those wild ways in which a conventional marriage would definitely not suit him. In any case, a woman will always question an older man who has never been married.
Marriage... I've noticed that many people are waiting until they are older to make that big commitment. I'm 24 years old, but I still feel like I did when I was 20. There is no way I could settle down and be married. Maybe this is all sparked from my two long term relationships. Either way, I want to be able to have a relationship with someone outside of marriage long before marriage is even thought about. Then once I'm married I want to be married a while before children are even thought of... SO why am I thinking about this now? I don't know... Maybe it is because I don't want to be mid-thirty and still single. Not saying that I want to be married. I just want to live it up... be single for a while... then settle. Although I wouldn't mind having a partner in crime while I'm causing all of this trouble. ;)
posted by Jenn & John at 4:56 PM
1 Comments:
These days, it's really much harder to put conventional tags on people than it used to be. It used to be that you were supposed to get married, be committed, have kids... provide for them, and grow old and die, etc... etc... People stuck it out in relationship much more than they do now. A lot of this has to do with the feminist movement. Not that I have a problem with this; I'm glad that women don't take shit as much as they used to. In fact, I would rather have a relationship with a woman that stood up for herself and argued my ass than a woman that's easily pushed into submission. In fact, most men these days have been greatly influenced by this to the point where it's often true that we're being 'pussified' into submission, and we need to start sticking up for ourselves again.
But these days, women are way different then they used to be. They're more independent. Especially here in California. We're seeing that more and more people are happy to live their lives alone. In fact, they like not being married and don't function well like that. Some men are like this as well. Marriage is not for everyone. Even being in a committed relationship is not for everyone. My point is that there are most definitely exceptions to every rule. If all older men are already settled and all younger men are too busy having fun, then yes, there is no one for anyone to be with at this age right now. And that's absolutely not true. I was at a party last night where I was with two friends of mine that both got married when they were 25 or younger. And both of them are (seemingly) happy and content, as far as I can tell at least. They're perfect example of the exception to the rule. They would both rather be in their relationships then be out of them, and that's not par for this age at all.
Besides.. who says who have to only be in a relationship with the one that you'll be married with? Instead of finding mr. right, what's wrong with being with 'mr. right now?' not everything has to be until the end. You can most certainly find a partner in crmie to spend this time of your life with.
Also, believing in sayings like 'younger mend don't care to settle and older men are already settled' cramps your style. It's the kind of generalization that we're all tempted to believe because for the majority it is kind of true, and we've experienced it somewhat. But to just believe that is selling yourself short and closing you off to anything that might come along in your life which doesn't fit into that predetermined stereotype.
Have a look around.. I'm sure we can all find something which fulfills us at this age, if only partially!!!!
AS
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