"He's just not that into you."
So I was given another really good gig, so I think. But whenever I seem to say anything about it,something goes wrong. So, my lips are sealed until I know for sure. But it's a GOOD ONE!
As for everything else, life is pretty much SSDD. I had an interesting conversation with one of my boss' about dating. It was so true. We spoke about this one episode of Sex in the City which apparently sparked a topic for a book. The book is entitled He's just not that into You. The discussion went on to include how women are stupid and men are assholes. Women mostly like to beat around the bush about everything. For example, the woman is hungry. But instead of saying, "I'm hungry, let's get some food," she asks, "are you hungry?" Now what is the point of this? There is no point. It is a stupid game. But we all do it so much that it has become a part of our normal speech pattern. So going back to the idea of this book....women tend to read into EVERYTHING. So, therefore we also rationalize the behavior of men. He doesn't call, so he is just playing hard to get or he is just shy. The answer, according to the gentleman that wrote that book is "he's just not that into you." In other words, move on. But why do so many women have such difficulty in dealing with this? I think it is because women get attached much easier than men do. We also get attached for different reasons. So how do you know if he is into you? Hell if I know, i'm just learn'n the ropes again.
As for everything else, life is pretty much SSDD. I had an interesting conversation with one of my boss' about dating. It was so true. We spoke about this one episode of Sex in the City which apparently sparked a topic for a book. The book is entitled He's just not that into You. The discussion went on to include how women are stupid and men are assholes. Women mostly like to beat around the bush about everything. For example, the woman is hungry. But instead of saying, "I'm hungry, let's get some food," she asks, "are you hungry?" Now what is the point of this? There is no point. It is a stupid game. But we all do it so much that it has become a part of our normal speech pattern. So going back to the idea of this book....women tend to read into EVERYTHING. So, therefore we also rationalize the behavior of men. He doesn't call, so he is just playing hard to get or he is just shy. The answer, according to the gentleman that wrote that book is "he's just not that into you." In other words, move on. But why do so many women have such difficulty in dealing with this? I think it is because women get attached much easier than men do. We also get attached for different reasons. So how do you know if he is into you? Hell if I know, i'm just learn'n the ropes again.
posted by Jenn & John at 2:10 AM
4 Comments:
I believe I've read some of that book you're talking about. Was the guy an advisor to sex and the city too? if he was it's the same book... and it's pretty extreme... for example, the guy talks about how if a guy hasn't asked a girl out, and they've known eachother for a while... then he just isn't interested... I think that is a crock of shit really... yeah, most men, that would be true, but there is always that percentage that is either too shy, or have some other extenuating cirucmstances why they're not asking you out.
Also, women could make our jobs a HELL OF A LOT EASIER if they WOULDN"T BEAT AROUND THE BUSH EITHER! Both sexes are guilty of this.
Don't think for one second that men don't analyze women's behavior either, because we do!
Women get attached and men do as well easily, because of the HALO effect. That is where we wrongfully believe someone to be something they're not, and we become attracted to this false vision of their persona. The more time you spend NOT getting to the point with someone, the more the perceived vision can get more distored.
My point? Games suck. Honesty rules. Have a nice day....
AS
ur comment is much appreciated! honesty is the best answer i agree. And yes, games do suck. But most of us are so damn afraid of rejection that we wont even risk it.
My question is why do people play games in the first place? Because they're playing hard to get? Sure, that's true some of the time.. but I think something equally true is that people play games because in the long run they are scared of rejection. They don't want people to truly get to know them because they believe themselves to be unattractive in many different ways: physically, emotionally, mentally, etc.... I guess playing games hides the real person that they're scared people will really find. For me, that's the person I'm trying to find, the real person! I'd much rather be with someone willing to show me that, then some trumped up 'fake' version of a personality that people project out of insecurtiy. Phuck that...
AS
I fully agree with you AS, I fully do.
What disturbs me is how often people try to obfuscate their lives with little lies that make them feel better, prettier, and/or safer. It disturbs me even more when, just on occasion, you get a glimpse of who this person really is, and the real person underneath all that fear is really amazing.
The problem is they're willing to go right back to all those little lies to feel safe and hold you back at arms length.
Hell's Bells people, be willing to take a risk, a little pain is worth it.
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