Today was a pretty good day. I ended up spending most of the morning (4hours) pruning flowery bushes...damnit I can't remember the fucking name at the moment and it is really pissing me off. AHhhh... Anyways, I chopped branches and hauled brush away. There is still so much to do. I'm probably going to do more tomorrow morning. Took my mind off of the crap im living with now and I was able to take my agressions out on something! It felt good.
Good news. A childhood friend who I've grown up with has decided to get married... only it is FRIDAY! WTF?! Wow... I take longer when deciding how to do my hair! My opinion... she should wait because she probably doesn't know him all that well yet. But you live and you learn.
I've come up with a list of things I like and dislike about this place. So here goes...
What I Like:
-I have fabulous hair up here... it must be the water... my hair is straight and shiny and definately managable.
-I have great family friends who I can rely on.
-my old viola teacher is up here.
-my sisters are around and constantly call... which I like
-my church
What I dislike:
-hospitals
-doctors
-being thrown off track with my life
-i LOVE my nephew, don't get me wrong. But right now, I'm not ready to be a mother.
-I hate that nothing in the house is really mine anymore.
-feeling like i'm controlled by someone in a hospital bed.
-resenting people: everyone who I've put so much time and effort into... loved and cared for and they fucking use me. ( I just don't want to turn into that person with that hard shell... you know, the kind that loses themselves and cannot admit any kind of feeling watsoever, oh do I know WAY to many of those people!)
-POOPIE diapers! Its gross and no one should have to do it. they should come out potty trained!
I'm sure I will think of more to complete this list. But for now, my mind needs a rest. AND WIll Smith is waiting for me. I get to stare at his lovely body for a few hours now while I watch him in Hitch! :)
Good news. A childhood friend who I've grown up with has decided to get married... only it is FRIDAY! WTF?! Wow... I take longer when deciding how to do my hair! My opinion... she should wait because she probably doesn't know him all that well yet. But you live and you learn.
I've come up with a list of things I like and dislike about this place. So here goes...
What I Like:
-I have fabulous hair up here... it must be the water... my hair is straight and shiny and definately managable.
-I have great family friends who I can rely on.
-my old viola teacher is up here.
-my sisters are around and constantly call... which I like
-my church
What I dislike:
-hospitals
-doctors
-being thrown off track with my life
-i LOVE my nephew, don't get me wrong. But right now, I'm not ready to be a mother.
-I hate that nothing in the house is really mine anymore.
-feeling like i'm controlled by someone in a hospital bed.
-resenting people: everyone who I've put so much time and effort into... loved and cared for and they fucking use me. ( I just don't want to turn into that person with that hard shell... you know, the kind that loses themselves and cannot admit any kind of feeling watsoever, oh do I know WAY to many of those people!)
-POOPIE diapers! Its gross and no one should have to do it. they should come out potty trained!
I'm sure I will think of more to complete this list. But for now, my mind needs a rest. AND WIll Smith is waiting for me. I get to stare at his lovely body for a few hours now while I watch him in Hitch! :)
posted by Jenn & John at 12:30 AM
1 Comments:
JEBUS, you don't mean ANG do you?
About people that use you and take you for granted, etc.... You know, there's a saying... and I know girls think this about guys, and it has some truth in LOTS of matters... also with friends, etc... Often you will judge people by 'who' their friends are. It's very very telling. What kind of people do they attract? Who is attracted to them for their friendship. EVEN the LACK of someone having friends is often a bad f'in sign. Lord knows I've learned that regarding certain people I've known. If you've taken any Psychology class with any half decent professor, you learn that someone who has no friends is often that way because of certain situations in their upbringing. Ok, yeah, sometimes there are just people who function better on their own. That's the way they are.
But if you study Maslow's hierarchy... and again I don't want to stereotype the whole human race, but I believe it's true for MOST of us, is that at some time in our life or another, (and often more than just once...) we feel the needs for friendship, companionship, and to be recognized by our peers. If someone does not have the ability to form friendships, this can be a serious problem...and evident of SERIOUS problems that have been a part of that person for a LONG time. Spececially, if you have a friend like that or a gf/bf, how do those issues get resolved? Well, I don't know. I've f'in tried, and I see other friends of mine dealing with the same damn thing, and I see their struggle. And I don't think it's something that's easily conquered.
It brings up the the whole question then, should we have a list of CRITERIA for people to have to ALLOW them to come into our lives? While more than ever I see why and how people are doing this in everyday applications.. I CAN'T NOT believe that all things considered... it's better to be open and honest with EVERYONE.
I think when people are dishonest they end up creating the very problems that you are seeing now all the time in your situations. There are many reasons for this, but I'm not sure I want to spend an hour writing on your blog!!!!
Anyway... Peace till next blog entry.. then it's discourse...
AS
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